Getting to “I Do”

The title of the book is catchy, isn’t it? Anyone who has been longing to be in a fulfilling relationship would be tempted to get cozy with a cup of tea and read this book in one sitting. Before I share with you what this book offers, let me first tell you what this book is not. This book is not about manipulating the situation or others in hopes to speed up the process of going down the isle. Rather, the underlying message of the book is discovering your true authentic self.

One of the authors, Dr. Patricia Allen, has been a therapist for many years. The book is based on her years of experience working with couples, which is why I was drawn to this book in the first place. Given my background in psychology, I’m not easily convinced when it comes to considering others’ advice. But, after reading only a few pages, I knew that Dr. Allen was on to something incredible.

The main message of the book is that there are three types of energies, two of which will be the focus of this discussion post – masculine and feminine. In short, masculine energy is what we often associate with a traditional male – leader, initiator, and a dominant giver. Feminine energy, on the other hand, describes someone who follows the leader (and does so willingly and gracefully), and capable of receiving and surrendering. Whereas masculine energy individuals need to feel respected, those ruled by feminine energy have a need to feel cherished. If you are unsure of your energy, Dr. Allen has a quiz that you can take to find out.

In relation to the energies working together, think of a relationship as a kingdom that has only one throne, which means that there can only be one masculine energy and one feminine energy, complementing each other. In other words, successful relationships are an exchange of opposite energies because similar energies repel. Many times relationships seem like a struggle because people are either unaware or act in a manner that’s inconsistent with their energy. For example, two dominant individuals (masculine energy) in a relationship may struggle to gain power, creating opportunities for conflict. Similarly, two passive individuals (feminine energy) may never make a decision, also setting the stage for ongoing disagreements.

The authors suggest that the most important step in the process is realizing your energy and embracing it. To do this, it is important to look within yourself and ask questions, like “Do I like to pursue or be pursued?” or “Can I give up control of the relationship?” If you are a woman who likes to be pursued, then you need to let the man do the pursuing and allow him to take control of the relationship. If he’s not pursuing you, then he might not be interested or he’s a feminine energy waiting for a woman to show the initiative first. In either case, if you’re brutally honest with yourself, you know that you’re not a match for him.

If you are someone who wants to have a fulfilling relationship, you won’t regret reading this book. Clearly, this blog post only scratches the surface of the golden information that can help you manifest the relationship of your dreams.

Delicately Yours,


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